Brightest smiles

I sometimes imagine,

what it would be like

to spend a lifetime with you.

I see us laugh.

I see us fight.

I see us make love

and fuck.

I picture the places we would visit,

the friends we would make along the way.

I can sometimes feel the seasons change

as we age.

but as I imagine,

your face begins to fade from my memory

and I begin again.

I realize now,

that this future is not ours

and never will be.

it’s a dream.

where you’ve saved your brightest smiles

just for me.



There is a stillness

a silence in my mind.

It holds me so tight

I feel at home.


Then it constricts

and eases.

Constricts and eases


with my heartbeat.

I bang on my chest

hoping for its death.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Be quiet

give me peace

be kind.

Give me back

my solitude.