Brightest smiles

I sometimes imagine,

what it would be like

to spend a lifetime with you.

I see us laugh.

I see us fight.

I see us make love

and fuck.

I picture the places we would visit,

the friends we would make along the way.

I can sometimes feel the seasons change

as we age.

but as I imagine,

your face begins to fade from my memory

and I begin again.

I realize now,

that this future is not ours

and never will be.

it’s a dream.

where you’ve saved your brightest smiles

just for me.

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22 years

for 22 years, I waited for the words

either from my most beloved

or from a single stranger.

I stared and stared at my image

my reflection

never allowing it to be captured

refusing to have it frozen,

unchangeable.

to me, I was still a damp piece of clay

yet to be molded into an image of beauty

if I tried hard enough, ate less than enough

then maybe,

after these last 22 years of waiting

the words from a beloved or a stranger

would finally be spoken

and I would finally be beautiful.

The Walk

a split second in time

two former lovers

make the same decision

a crisp breeze envelops them

as the sun warms their faces.

a split second in time

two former lovers

are awash within the same memories

of their love, of their anger

of their indifference.

a split second in time

two former lovers

come to the same realization

that their past indiscretions

wont determine their future.

a split second in time

two former lovers

turn down the same street

their smiles light up their eyes

until they meet once again.

for a split second

two former lovers

both yearn for what they lost

emotions clear in their faces

clearer than any words they had ever used.

two former lovers

turn away from each other

never before and never again

to be as in tuned

as they were that day.

Do you know

Looking you in the eye

hoping you would never know the truth.

Still feeling his lips on mine

the way his hands grazed over my thighs.

My heart races as I sit in these memories.

I wonder if you know.

Can you see my pulse, my heart beating

my cheeks flush?

Do you notice when I perk up

at the mention of his name?

How I go still when he enters the room?

Does my face

does my body betray me?

The same way I betrayed you?

Do you know?

That I will again.